I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
