Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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