I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
