u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
