So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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