I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize