We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
