mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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