so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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