bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Dicks are not precious.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
why is half of my head shaved?
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