He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
