im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
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