She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
