If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
