My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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