I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
