u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
