Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
