my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I will be naked everywhere
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
