i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
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