If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
