hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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