am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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