totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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