I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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