its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
