I'm going to jail i love you
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
