Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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