Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
