There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
