how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
