I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
