i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
