So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
