There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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