He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
