what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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