Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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