She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
