he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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