bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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