you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
