He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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