i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
