Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
