my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
