Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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