I'm so fucking centered right now
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
