STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
