sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
