Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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