and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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