I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
