Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
